


Resurgence

by iori_sempai



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-22 00:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iori_sempai/pseuds/iori_sempai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He remembers the way Jin used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resurgence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lynxiae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynxiae/gifts).



Ragna can hardly recall how things were when they were first put under Sister's care. Jin hadn't known to call him "Nii-san" back then, but once he gets into the habit, Jin almost never stops-- every other second is "Nii-san, this," or "Nii-san, that."

Whenever Ragna wants to snap at him for it, some long-forgotten memory of a small blond boy curled up alone flashes in his mind. Quiet, aloof and hopeless. Never smiling. The odd vision unsettles Ragna so much he can never bear to get angry with him. Even if Jin was annoying, he made Ragna feel a thousand times better when he was smiling.

Sometimes Ragna is sure that he's dreaming of the past, of how things were before they came to the church, but it always seems so strange and inconceivable when he thinks about it. Was there a before? If so, why couldn't he remember when he tried?

Saya's body is tiny next to his and somehow Jin looks even smaller in the dreams. "I've got you," he tells them, and when Ragna murmurs it the morning the words feel so familiar he swears he must have said them over and over again at one point. Some nights, the way Jin looks at him haunts him, his blank green eyes piercing him long after he wakes.

"Hey," Jin says, and it takes a second for Ragna to realize he's talking to him. "What... am I alive for?"

The innocent question hurts so much more than what the adults could put him through. Ragna reaches out for him between the bars and presses their fingers together. "You'll find out one day, okay? I used to ask myself that, too, before I figured it out."

That makes a rare spark light in Jin's eyes, and he turns his head to look at Ragna directly. "What is it?"

Ragna squeezes his hand tightly, and says, "To protect you."

Jin's mouth twists with a mix of confusion and surprise, then eventually settles into a frown. "You can't do that." He pulls his hand free from Ragna's, his eyes shifting to stare at the wall as that small light fades.

Ragna presses closer to the bars, telling him, "I'll get us out of here. Everyone else, too."

Jin only turns in his bunk to face the other way.

As he gets older he forgets those dreams, and tries his hardest to forget everything that won't help him grow stronger. Not that he doesn't dream-- no, instead there are nightmares, ones where Jin isn't really Jin, but the side of himself that mulls over everything he's ever done wrong with the same quiet voice and teary eyes he can't ever forget.

Sometimes it asks, "What are you alive for?" as quietly and innocently as the times Ragna can no longer grasp. There are nights when Ragna doesn't know what he can possibly say to answer. Others he says, "Revenge," as definitively as ever. It never seems satisfied either way.

It takes a long time before he allows himself to admit that there used to be something else, some other reason, and that it had been just as important (no, even more so). It's no surprise when Ragna finally looks into those accusing eyes and urges, "I can still protect you," the caricature only disappears.

Even after meeting Jin again, Ragna can't help but picture the small boy who used to cower under the large moon in his place. This new Jin is not his Jin, he insists at first, because the other possibility is almost too painful to think about. The new Jin mimics the one his head, parroting all his weaknesses and failures back to him with so much precision that Ragna can't tell whether he's real or not.

The ice bites and burns at his legs as he finds himself facing another barrage of abuse. "You couldn't save us," Jin mutters low, thrusting his sword into Ragna's shoulder. "You didn't protect me." Those words hurt more than all the rest combined, even more than the sharp pain of his other shoulder being lanced through. Jin's eyes widen as he pulls the sword free, shouting now, "You lied!" Ragna almost thinks that this will be the one, but the blade edges away from its mark and only grazes the side of his neck.

Jin's body shakes with each heaving breath he takes, and the twisted grimace on his face scares Ragna in a way he's never felt before. Jin pants until he reaches a state resembling calm, then sighs. The boot on Ragna's gut presses harder as Jin leans forward to pull his sword out of the ground, and Ragna nearly gags in response.  If Jin catches his response he only ignores it, wordlessly dipping down and wrenching Ragna's head to his level with a fist full of white hair.

Ragna only grits his teeth harder, now completely assured in the one fact he's been avoiding: Jin hates him. No matter how far they are from the past, how irrelevant he's tried to make those memories, the thought makes Ragna's chest tighten.

_It's fine if you hate me, as long as you're okay._

But Jin hadn't been okay. He'd turned out this way because Ragna hadn't been there to stop his little brother from soaking in all the cruelties of the world.

Now, those green eyes are no longer empty. Instead they're filled up completely, with a swirling soup of malice, anger, obsession, and _him_. Jin smiles, almost, and presses a kiss just under Ragna's ear, cooing so sweetly, "I'm going to kill you, Nii-san. That's the reason I'm alive." With those words, Ragna begins to wonder if maybe this would be okay, if perhaps Jin would finally forgive him for everything if Ragna could give his life meaning. He'd failed so many times, and no matter how hard and stubbornly he fights, he can't help but get _tired_. Ragna stares at his little brother for a long moment. Just as he reaches out with the last of his strength, Jin melts away yet again, and so does the pain.

His eyes open and he stares up blankly at the moon. Did Jin feel anything when he looked at it now?

_"What if it falls after all?"_

_"Don't worry. I'll make sure you don't get hurt."_

_"There's no way you could stop something like that, Nii-san!"_

Ragna squeezes his eyes shut, trying to drown out another scene he couldn't bear to remember.

Of course there wasn't. But he still had to try.


End file.
